I’m profoundly deaf in my left ear. Nerve issue, not a mechanical one. Right ear is okay for now
(though I know my 40s or 50s will be an interesting time). My parents are Deaf. I was mainstreamed as a child because I had enough hearing to be “normal.” Went to school, will continue to go to school soon, have a job, generally said to have a bright future, all that stuff society likes a young man to have. I am very grateful that despite all that I was still able to learn ASL and participate in my own beautiful culture. Still, I didn’t actually have to reflect on what my Deafness meant to me until much later in my life. As a kid, you don’t really notice much I think.
But now as an adult, I am blissfully aware of my Deafness
I fear every little bit I miss when I’m in the hearing world
And I cherish all that I gain by this gift my God has given me
There’s so much that I have in me as a Deaf man.
I have such a desperate love for who I am. (or who I could be)
Certainly a love I want to share,
and one I want to indulge in.
But I’m split up into so many pieces.
So many mes
How do I ask someone to love me?
To love what they cannot know?
To love me,
Not only in ears and tongues and air
But in eyes and fingers
And especially in eyes and fingers
Because.
All I will be is eyes and fingers one day.