Are there any significant experiences you’ve had or accomplishments you realize that have helped to define you as a hearing-impaired person?
During my lunch breaks I fix closed-caption decoders, and on Thursdays after school I repair TDDs free of charge. I translate Deafist slurs for some mainstreamed kids. On school vacations I visit the graves of Clerc, Cogswell, de l’Epee, Gallaudet, Massieu, Sicard, and Veditz. I can fingerspell my ABCs backwards at unflagging speed. I am a connoisseur of Deaf humor.
People worldwide swoon over my line of “Deaf Way” fashion-wear. I am a Bi-Bi (bilingual-bicultural) advocate, yet I receive fan mail from Alexander Graham Bell evangelists. I do award-winning ASL poetry. I breed prize-winning deaf cats. I donate ASL textbooks to the school library.
I am the subject of numerous segments on the TV program “Deaf Mosaic.” I collect autographs from Deaf trailblazers. I join boycotts against hearing actors performing in Deaf roles. I read Gannon’s Deaf Heritage and Lane’s When the Mind Hears in one day and still have time to install a light-signaling system for a friend that evening. I make an I-love-you-sign lapel pin for Vanessa Redgrave, my favorite actress. I contribute half of my summer work earnings to the Center for Bicultural Studies and I read TBC News passionately.
My house-pet chimp is currently in training to become a certified interpreter. I become a born-again Deaf woman, thanks to wonderful Deaf role models. I am asked to play Sarah Norman in a community stage production of Mark Medoff’s Children of a Lesser God and perform the role flawlessly on a half-day’s notice. I am an expert at spotting cochlear implantees blocks away. Terms like “deaf-and-dumb,” “deaf-mute,” and “hearing-impaired” do not appeal to me whatsoever.
On weekends I hurl dead hearing-aid batteries from a great distance at tiny, fast-moving metal objects with deadly accuracy. I win prizes in hearing dog shows, ASL storytelling competitions, and fingerspelling bees. I save all of my National Theater of the Deaf ticket stubs and programs from its early years as collectibles. I can recite nonstop the name of every single Deaf school superintendent in America. Hearing parents of Deaf kids trust me. Whenever it comes to Deaf-style good-byes, I time it efficiently.
Oh. Did I come out yet?