Being a Deaf lesbian means being loved in a special way. It means that I am seen. Real love looks like learning ASL to form this deep and special connection with me. It means changing how to communicate and interact. It requires communication and meeting each other in the middle. It also means showing me how I deserve to be loved, in ways that my own family is not able to, and raising my standards even higher than I thought was possible. It means being my real support system and my real family.
It means teaching me how to communicate, adapt, and work through personal struggles. It means having space to heal and grow into the person I am meant to be. It is hard to navigate being Deaf in relationships, but it makes it much more worthwhile when I find someone who treats me with the love and respect I deserve. It makes it easier to eliminate those who are not worthy from day 1, if they are willing to put in the hard work to communicate with me. If it were not difficult, I would not want it. This hardship is what makes it special.
When someone unexpectedly shows up willing to treat me the way I deserve, starting with ASL, it feels like I have found my happy little bubble that no one can touch.