Here are ten reasons why Deaf-Deaf relationships are better than
Deaf-hearing relationships:
1. Communication
There is almost no room for misunderstanding when two lovers communicate in the same language, and in this case, ASL enables the two lovers to become fuller persons.
2. Love
It’s much more natural between Deaf lovers, for they know and appreciate what it’s like to be different and yet can share the same culture.
3. Trust
It’s a very important part of anyone’s life, but knowing that they come from the same culture and share the same language helps them develop trust more quickly. With a hearing partner, it’s much harder because of the difference in cultural backgrounds.
4. Pride
Knowing that two lovers share the same cultures, such as Deaf culture and gay culture, is a very special gift. I’ve always claimed that being Deaf and gay is a double pleasure, not a double handicap.
5. Non-Paternalism
There is less of a chance for a paternalistic relationship to develop. When there are two lovers from different cultures, one tends to paternalize the other.
6. Leadership
When two lovers come from the same culture, they tend to be more active in the Deaf community; thus it becomes a plus for the Deaf and gay community.
7. Understanding
We become more appreciative of other cultures by knowing who we are and what we are. In many cases, when a Deaf person has a hearing lover, he ignores the Deaf community or becomes snooty. (This is very true of several relationships I’ve known here in L.A.)
8. Companionship
When two cultures clash, companionship is no longer there, and negative feelings are often created. A Deaf lover tends to lose out more in terms of friends if he is forced to associate with his hearing lover’s friends all the time.
9. Friendship
The Deaf know the other Deaf people for years, whereas hearing friends tend to disappear.
10. Acceptance
When there are two Deaf lovers, Deaf society tends to accept them more fully. (Strangely enough, if two hearing lovers happen to mix with Deaf people, they are more easily accepted into Deaf society than a Deaf and hearing couple would be.)