Your Cyborg Boyfriend,

I can hear any noise but I have a difficult time identifying where the noise is coming from and what kind of noise it is. For example, I can hear fire-engine sirens and police-car sirens, but I can’t tell the difference between them. I communicate with the hearing world by having hearing friends who know basic sign language. Of course, I do talk good and lipread pretty good — at least average.

Do you see yourself as a black deaf gay man, or a deaf gay man, or just a deaf person? Which one do you see yourself as first?

I’d see myself as a black person first, then as a deaf person, and then as a gay person.

Any particular reason why you feel that way?

Well, since my skin color is visible, they can identify me as black. Then they find out I’m deaf. As for being gay, it’s a sticky situation. I’m not really in the closet, but I just have to use my best judgment to trust people to accept me as a gay person. That is the last thing, yet the main concern of all my identities is my gayness.

You mean to say that above all you are most concerned with your gayness?

Yes, because I see that I have my own rights as a black person already. Then again I have my own rights as a deaf person. As for my rights as a gay person, they are not quite established.

When did you first tell a friend about yourself?

I was in high school, and I knew I was gay, but no one knew about it until one of my friends came out to me when she was in her first year of college. Then I came out to her, and we’ve been good friends ever since. (That person was white.)

From your own viewpoint, how do you think the black community as a whole view gay people? Do they accept gay people better than white people accepting gay people?

Well, unfortunately for the black community, homosexuality does not exist in their belief system, because religion plays such a big role in their lives. Many black gays fear that if their families ever found out, they’d be thrown out of the house. Now AIDS is coming to the black community. To them it’s still a “white gay disease,” and there is still a lack of education there. The black community ignored the warnings all along, but now they’re regretting it a lot. I feel that the black community should wake up and try to educate its people to accept homosexuality in spite of their religious beliefs.

Have you ever been involved with other black men? Any serious relationships there?

To be honest, I only attempted to have some sexual experiences with other black men, but it didn’t work for me because I feel they are my brothers, as part of my family, so I never had a real relationship with any black man. Of course, I do have black gay friends. I happen to be much more interested in interracial relationships.

You mean if you sleep with a black man, you feel it’s almost like incest?

Yes, you could say it that way. I may feel uncomfortable doing it, but I’d rather be a friend with him than go to bed with him.

Because you are interested in getting involved with white men, do you feel that makes you a so-called Oreo? Or do you prefer to maintain your black identity?

First of all, I happen to be proud of being a Jamaican-American, which is my true identity. I’m glad that the gay community has finally accepted interracial relationships, because I remember about ten years ago there were none. But now there are more everywhere. I see them wherever I go, especially in the big cities in the Northeast. Gay bookstores feature literature such as “African-American Litera-ture” and “Latin Literature”; I am glad that I don’t have to feel inferior. I also know that white men are attracted to me more than black men. I believe in the quote “Opposites attract.” And I’d like to have an interracial relationship. I know there are many eyes staring at me behind my back whenever I’m with any white person, but I don’t give a damn about them as long as they give us respect.

Do you feel discriminated against by other white deaf people, straight or gay?

Ummm, not really. We deafies tend to care about our deafness more than race. Yeah, I feel discriminated against by straighties, but who can argue with that issue after so many years? But overall, I don’t feel any discrimination placed on me at all. I’m thankful that I was born in the right year — if I were any older, I would’ve been beaten up by white people. Or I would’ve been sent to a deaf residential school due to my deafness. Or I would’ve been beaten to death because of my gayness. But I am here now. I don’t feel much discrimination, so I’m glad in that way.

A white deaf friend of mine has suggested to me that a lot of deaf gay black men are effeminate. Do you agree with that assessment?

Boy, aren’t we stuck with stereotypes!?!? I don’t think so. Not all are like that. Maybe some are, some not. That’s what I thought.

Your signing seems so-called effemi-nate. Did you ever suffer being called “fag” or “queer” in high school because of that?

Well, not really. I come from a large city that provides many gay resources, so I don’t recall being called nasty names. If you are very strong and stand on your own feet, people won’t call you names. If you don’t do that, then they will do that. It’s only logical.

Do you find it difficult to form relationships with white men?

Really, I don’t think that way. I’m more concerned about the communication barrier between deaf and hearing people, because it requires a lot of attention and work within the relationship. If I thought only of racial issues, guys would call me a racist and they wouldn’t have a relationship with me. I’d have a more difficult time as a result.

How do you meet other men?

One of my friends calls me a “social butterfly.” I meet men through a network of friends, at gay organization events, in bars, or at gay-resort beaches like Rehoboth Beach or Fire Island.

What do you seek in an ideal lover?

My ideal lover should have a hairy chest. He should know the basics of sign language (either fingerspelling or ASL. and the basics of deaf culture. He should be willing to spend more time with me and give me respect as a whole person. He should be willing to work on our relationship. I don’t want to be the only person who does all the work in the relationship. And wouldn’t depend on the horoscope too much, because that can devastate your hopes of getting involved in the first place. And of course, he must understand interracial issues.

What about the age factor? Does it matter?

As long as it’s much closer to my age, up to his forties. I wouldn’ t dream of having a sugar daddy, though. I’d rather die!

What makes you so proud to be a deaf gay black man?

I’m glad that I am the right age in the right year in the right century. If it were otherwise, I would’ve lost my rights and privileges.

Meaning that because you were born at the right time, you feel very proud and lucky to be what you are now?

Yes, that’s correct. I tend to think positive. Of course, I’ll always struggle to prove that I can do it as a black person by being educated, as a deaf person by being successful, and as a gay person by preserving my rights. If I were living in a different time in another world, I wouldn’t have all those privileges. I wouldn’t be here and you wouldn’t be able to interview me like this. You have to think positive and be glad that you are here. Yes, you are absolutely right.

Is there anything else you’d like to add?

I’d like to tell every black deaf gay person: “You are not alone in this country. Be glad that you have friends around to give you support. lf you don’t have any friends, then go find a gay organization that interests you. You will be able to form a new group of friends. As for relationships, be glad if you have an opportunity to have a man by your side. If you are not happy, then move somewhere else that can provide you with a list of gay resources. That way you can get all the support you need. It’s also important not to lose your true identities. They make you a whole person.

*This interview was conducted via TDD by the editor.